I Know This Much Is True: In Dance!

by Lauri Goodwin

Having your first child is quite an eye-opener. You don’t know what to expect, and, in your inexperience, you don’t realize that some of the more challenging stages are only temporary. Thank the good Lord! Being the mom of a little girl has its own set of challenges. Every little phase or whim comes with a bit of a learning curve. “When life deals you lemons, make lemonade!” Below, I have listed a few of those “sour” lessons pertaining to dance.

Lesson 1: Make sure to have an extra pair of tights.

The first recital my daughter ever danced in was traumatic, to say the least. My husband was out of town coaching his son’s baseball team, so i was flying solo. I had planned to drop her off at the theatre early, run to the store to buy her flowers, and be seated for the beginning of the performance. Like I said, I had PLANNED it that way. I got her dressed in her first costume and fixed her hair and make up. “Okay,” I told her, “Mommy has to get dressed now. It won’t take me long.” As she headed out of my bedroom, it occurred to me that I needed to go potty before I got dressed. As I was lowering myself to the toilet, I heard the door chime beep, and it quickly occurred to me that my daughter was going outside to show our neighbor “Miss Kelly”, who had been working in her garden, her beautiful self, all dolled up in costume and makeup. There was only one problem…she had no shoes on over her tights! It felt like one of those movies when a scene moves in slow motion. “NOOoooOOOooOOOooo!” It was too late! As I rounded the corner, I saw her do a pirouette while she was watching her reflection in the glass door. Nylon tights are not meant to hold up to twirling on exposed-aggregate concrete! Just sayin’! There she was with two toes poking out of her brand new tights! Deep breath!!!!! Ahhhhhhh!!!!!

Lesson 2: Keep Costumes, Accessories, and Shoes Close.

When there are twelve excited, squealing little girls trying on their much-awaited recital costumes for the first time, check to make sure you get all of the costume pieces back in your bag ensuring another mother hasn’t mistakenly taken half of YOUR child’s costume home with her. Shortly after witnessing her putting her little piggies through her tights, I checked the costume for her second performance to make sure that all the pieces were together. Half of her costume was missing! Breathe!!!!!! Of course, my bottom being still puckered after the tights incident, I wasn’t the most tolerant version of my self. I called the studio in the rare chance that they were picking up stage props, and got ahold of her teacher. She hadn’t heard of anything being turned in. Time to panic!!! Of course, I thought my child was the culprit! “Grace, what did you do with your costume? I told you not to play with either of your costumes until after the recital!” I am sure I was looking just short of demonic at this point! “Mommy, I promise I didn’t play with them!” Like I believed her! I remember saying I didn’t hang on the towel rack and pull it out of the wall, even after the third time! What was I to do??? If I kept looking for the missing piece, she might not make her first performance. Because my husband was out of town, I couldn’t send him ahead with our daughter so that I could keep looking in her room. I was certain that she had played with it and stuck it somewhere obscure. Ultimately, I decided to take her to the theatre and leave her with her dance team while I went back to look for the missing piece. I was rattled!!! When I got to the theatre, I told my friend the situation and she said she would stay with the girls and call me if someone came with an extra costume piece. I raced home and looked frantically through her drawers, under her bed and in her closet. Nothing. My phone rang and, lo, the missing piece was found! One of the moms said she sent an email to the team when she realized that she had an extra piece. Funny, no one else had received the heads-up. Regardless, it was my fault for not being more careful. I can assure you, IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN!!! EVER!!!!

Lesson 3: Invest in a Laundry Basket to Carry to All Performances.

My daughter has started performing with her school’s Competitive Dance Team. It isn’t hard core at this stage, but I know if she continues, it will become more intense. After my earlier debacles, I am very open to anything that will alleviate stress on “game day”. My daughter’s coach recommended a laundry basket to keep all items necessary for her performance. BEST ADVICE EVER!!! It holds a kaboodle (like a tackle box for girls) with her makeup and application instructions, makeup remover cloths, hairspray, bobby pins , brush, etc. It also keeps her costume, shoes, poms, mitts, tights (of course there are two pairs…see Lesson 1), leggings, and team jacket. I also keep a laminated checklist in the basket to look over so I don’t forget anything.

Lesson 4: Do NOT Go to a Wine Dinner on the Eve before a Performance!

The night before last year’s Jamfest Competition, we were invited to a wine dinner. The next morning, we had to leave the house fully dressed including makeup and hair at 4:30 a.m., drive 35 minutes, and check-in with the team at 6:00 a.m. Putting eyeliner and lip pencil on sleepy, miniature lips and eyes with an unsteady hand…let’s just say it can get a little dicey!

When it is all said and done, you find your seat, take a last deep breath, and sit back. As you begin to relax, you watch your little wonder, remembering a simpler time when you were up on that stage with your own parents watching, and think, “MOM, HOW THE HECK DID YOU DO IT???”

13Mar2014

The Medusa Scale

by Lauri Goodwin

Hi guys! Thanks so much for such a wonderful response to my post “The Medusa Scale”. I have gotten some wonderful anecdotes from other people about “losing it” themselves or their moms going off the deep end. If you have a story and would like to share it, please comment here or drop me an email:

Lgoodwin@4atc.com

I won’t attach any names, I promise! However, if you post a comment here, it is set up for public viewing. There is just something comforting in knowing that we aren’t alone.

Again, thanks for the stories!

Princess to Patty Cake

Lauri Goodwin

13Feb2014

Love is Manifested Best in Life’s Little Things

by Lauri Goodwin

I am not a morning person. I am fully aware of the many blessings upon which I have been bestowed. However, thoughts of gratitude aren’t gushing from my foggy mind before my first cup of coffee or full cognitive thought. If I had my druthers, my day would start around 8:00-8:30 a.m. and end around 11:00-11:30 p.m. I prefer purplish-pink, seductive sunsets to orangey-yellow, blinding sunrises. I’d much rather enjoy a dinner of grilled, succulent rosemary-crusted lamb chops washed down with a glass of musty, full-bodied Cabernet than a piping-hot cup of coffee and a steamy bowl of healthy oatmeal with fresh fruit. I relish the end of the day when I get to put my daughter to bed. I take my time reading a few pages of Harry Potter in my best British accent before saying a prayer for our family, friends, country and soldiers. I spoon with her as we sing “A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes” which, admittedly, can bring this bladder-eyes to tears. Lastly, I inhale her slumbering sweetness as I kiss her goodnight and turn off the light. I celebrate that my job is complete for the day and then mindlessly go through the bedtime rituals. Sometimes they include washing my face and brushing my teeth, sometimes they don’t. Sorry Mom! My husband, God love him, used to put toothpaste on my toothbrush every morning and night because he deemed it just as easy applying it to two as it was one; he already had the toothpaste out. It was an act that I under-appreciated until we got state-of-the-art brushes that were not kept together in one cup but charging at opposite sinks and didn’t lay flat like the manual ones. I wrestle out of my clothes and into my pajamas before falling decadently into bed. I optimistically dream about being able to make some headway in one of the many burgeoning “must-reads” spilling out from under my bed, only to doze off thinking, “I better get to sleep; the alarm will be going off much too quickly.” That last moment of consciousness before falling asleep is SO much better than the blaring buzzer that goes off every 10 minutes because your husband, who IS a morning person and regularly cites “Carpe Diem!”, sets it forty minutes earlier than necessary to wake up slowly.

One particular morning recently, neither he nor I had to get up early. Our sweet daughter came in about 7:00 a.m. and tapped me on the shoulder. Staving off my apoplectic reaction, my first thought was, “You have got to be kidding me!” She softly whispered, “Mom, I made you and Dad breakfast.” After I stifled my grumpy thoughts and frustration at her having unnecessarily awakened us so early, I stilled myself and thought, “Oh no! What big mess am I going to have to clean up when I get out to the kitchen?” She hasn’t quite mastered the technique of cracking eggs yet. I pictured slimy egg whites smeared all over my granite counter tops, crumbs scattered everywhere, etc. Dennis the Menace and Mr. Wilson came to mind. I dragged myself out of the warm soft bed and kept my grumbling to myself. When I got to the kitchen, the sight that greeted me stopped me in my tracks. There before me were two small bowls of frosted flakes soaking in milk. Adorning them were the absolutely sweetest smiley faces made of blueberry eyes and mouths and strawberry noses. I felt a bit shameful for not being more enthusiastic when she first woke me out of my deep sleep, but it was so worth losing those extra Zzzzzzs. Grace, thank you so much for helping Mommy to remember to be grateful…the little things are what counts. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Princess to Patty Cake

31Jan2014

What Kind of Leader Are You As A Parent?

by Lauri Goodwin

Recently, I attended a luncheon to honor Forty Leaders Under Forty. Each of them gave brief vignettes of that which steered them in their commitment toward leadership excellence. What stood out as a common thread in many of their personal stories was a very strong influence of parental leadership. One of the nominees mentioned his very young mother who was pregnant with him at fifteen. Contrary to the advice of others to discontinue her pregnancy, she gave birth and raised him, as a single mother, to be a now-successful physician who is being honored for his leadership. Another recipient, who overcame a possibly debilitating disease, chose to buck the foregone conclusion of working for his family’s hugely successful business to start his own and credited his mother for her wonderful example in his life. Another award winner praised the words of his grandfather that encouraged him to follow his dreams and to never give up on those aspirations. As a nation who seems to be raising a generation of entitled “millennials”, how are we as parents doing at being leaders to our children? I think there is vast area for improvement.

Do we hold our kids accountable? There are countless, age-old expressions that seem a little cliche today but were based in Scripture which we could apply to give ourselves a broad template to compare ourselves to. We reap what we sow (Galatians 6:7-8). Regardless of ones walk of faith, we have heard that expression countless times, but do we really apply it? Do we allow our children to reap what they sow? After all, there is no better teacher than experience.

Do we allow our children’s peers to shape our most treasured? Parents fall prey to the hype that their kids need phones to be able to get ahold of them. Until they start driving and are in a car alone, is there really any need for them to have a phone? We didn’t have cell phones when I grew up and we didn’t need them. There was always an adult who would be happy to let you use their “land line” to phone your parents much less now every adult has a cell phone. Parents buckle to the pressure of their children’s peers without thinking of the ramifications. Teenagers and Tweens are plugged into their friends and/or social media 24-7. The teenage years are a mine-filled journey and we allow the inexperienced to advise our kids on navigating the rough waters of adolescence. When I was a kid, only parents had a phone in their room (which was a place we didn’t spend a lot of time in unless given permission). My brother and I had to use the phone in the kitchen within earshot of my parents. Were we thrilled about it? No! Did it allow my parents insight into what was going on in the hearts and mind of their children? Absolutely! From my own experience, once these kids have phones, they replace family conversation/ fun time with distracted attention texting their friends. Do we check our kids phones periodically and authoritatively simply because it is the right thing to do? I don’t think we would put our children into a car, put it in gear when they can’t see above the steering wheel but can reach the gas pedal, and send them out into a busy street, would we?

Why have we given up being stewards of our children’s innocence? Kids are participating in sex at much earlier ages than ever before. The rate of sexually transmitted diseases is at an all time high including HPV which has become epidemic in proportion. As a matter of fact, HPV is quickly surpassing tobacco products as the cause of throat cancer. Kids are dropped off at parties with no phone calls from parents to checking to see if there will be an adult chaperone supervising the festivities. I was listening to a speaker that was asking parents, ” How many of you in here trust your teenagers?” About half the hands went up. He said, “There is your biggest mistake.” I thought, “Really? Who are these people? Weren’t they once teenagers too? Could my parents trust me? Probably not…” The internet is loaded with pornographic images …when was the last time we checked what our children have been looking at?

Are we teaching our children the value of hard work. Today all the wants of American teens far outnumber the needs. Kids have iPods, iPads, iPhones, Xbox 360, PS4, meanwhile many of these families bury themselves financially to provide for their little darlings. I am most often impressed with the kids of families that insist that their children share in the fiscal burden of some of the extravagances that have become mainstay in our culture. Kids today are getting manicures and pedicures, massages, waxing, and having seen them at the salon, I am abhorred by some of their behavior. Periodically, I treat myself to a mani/pedi and get to sit and listen to a mother call her kid’s name over and over again only for that child to be rewarded in the end with getting their nails done. What do these kids have to look forward to?

To have a great society, we need great leaders. I think if we occasionally take a personal inventory of our job creating the futures leaders, we will all see areas for improvement. Make yourself a leader that will inspire your children to want to emulate and lead others.