A Feminist Wrote an Op-Ed Saying Getting Married and Having Children is a No Brainer…I Had to Respond

This is in response to the illiterate feminist writer who knows not of what she speaks:

Dear Amy,

Though I am not a young mother, I made a decision to be a stay-at-home mom when I was blessed to have a child just shy of my fortieth birthday. I gave up the stilettos, cruising the Mediterranean, and the life of luxury. The ease of finding someone to marry with whom to have a child is apparently a no brainer for many people given the overwhelming divorce statistics and the number of children who are left with different degrees of brokenness. To have a lasting marriage, it takes hard work and sacrifice by both parties. If spouses would spend as much energy trying to make their marriages work as you do mocking and deriding something you have no clue about, there would most certainly be a greater rate of success. As far as the ease of getting pregnant, I can’t speak about it being easy, but on the flip side, I would never begin to question, at the very least, the emotional pain of couples who have had to battle infertility issues only, in way too many cases, to despairingly give up all hope of having their own child. In my own case, it was after only one miscarriage (another thing that you haven’t experienced I’m sure unless it has been your “choice” to terminate). Once I conceived the second time, I had to see a doctor every week to make sure that the pregnancy was going smoothly. At the end of the forty weeks, I had a C-section because of anatomy issues that categorized me as high risk. On that end, I do feel like I had it easy compared to some of the stories I have heard about lengthy, painful and laborious births. My hat goes off to those mothers who are brave and strong enough to have natural births…ouch!

During the Presidential Election of 2012, another illiterate similar to yourself, suggested that Ann Romney “never worked a day in her life” because she was a stay-at-home mom with five boys. I wrote a response to her as well. I discussed the many new entrepreneurial businesses that have sprung to life as a result of two-income families. When our daughter was young, my husband hired someone to put up Christmas lights @ $400. Well, I put them up before this and have put them up since AND we didn’t have to call the contractor and ask him to come back because the snowfall/rain had tripped the GFI. I also included three Christmas trees, decorated the mantels, and a plethora of other decorations that have become tradition in our family. Interestingly, one would consider the man with the magnetic sign on his truck to be a working man, but me, I am just a stay-at-home mom. During the holiday season, I threw an annual dinner party for forty which included friends and customers replete with homemade desserts. We could have hired “workers” to cater it, but this stay-at-home mom did the cooking and cleaning while everyone praised the party for being warm and inviting, not typical holiday party fare. When my husband and I married, the dry cleaning bill dropped $200/mo. One, such as yourself, would say the person driving the van to pick up the dirty clothes and the person sweating over the hot press works, but this stay-at-home mom who sweats over a hot iron pressing those same clothes doesn’t work. Maybe you think I’m treating myself to a facial. Costco and Sam’s Club are filled with all-too-convenient cookies, cupcakes and prepackaged appetizers and meals for moms who work and share in praises, raises and paid vacations with those who “work” creating those shortcuts. This stay at home mom makes those cookies, cakes, and meals from scratch but takes delight in leaving a legacy of warm aromas greeting my child when she gets home from school. Speaking of getting home from school, the bus driver works driving children to and from school getting paid a salary-plus-benefits. This stay-at-home mom drives my child to school and back, however, my payment comes in the form of wonderful conversation so I know where her heart and head are in a time where parents need to be especially vigilant. Later that day, a brilliant smile greets me at pick up when she is full of stories about her day. My personal favorite: The Pooper Scooper! Yes, the genius that drives around in a van advertising “Their Poop is Our Soup!” WORKS while this stay at home mom scoops all that poop for free! Who knew? Many working moms think they don’t have time to volunteer in their child’s school because they work; kudos to those that do invest their time. Do you think it is easy to work for free with very little praise? Think again. The few times that your family notices what you do is when it doesn’t get done because you are busy putting up/taking down those Christmas lights or worse, you have nursed the entire family back from the flu only to get it yourself and the laundry and housework comes to a standstill. Has our family gone without vacations and other indulgences for me to stay home? Absolutely. Is the job of a stay-at-home mom easy? No. Is it honorable to do it well? Without a doubt!

Princess To Patty Cake

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